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Nov. 15th, 2006
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So I haven't posted much lately, nor fully responded to the people who commented on my last non-meme post. I don't particularly like posting when I'm feeling whiny, and right now that's kind of how I'm feeling.
In general- NaNo is sucking all of my creative writing energy. Well, at least the part involved in the actual writing. By the way, it's going pretty well- mostly. I just haven't been posting excerpts- for those on the NaNo filter. The main story I'm happy with, but there's a girl-girl rivalry that works- it's just the way it's written isn't making me happy. Not nearly subtly snarky enough.
The other thing sucking away at my energy is, hmm, how to phrase- loneliness, really. The kind that comes with simply not having many local people around. Some of this kicked in on Monday when I went to the NaNo meet-up and then didn't see anyone I knew, so I got my coffee, wandered around the place - there was no where to sit either, so I went home.
This past weekend was honestly a lot of fun- Friday I was down in Ann Arbor to see my girls, and then Saturday was off to Grand Rapids for the Sis-in-Law's baby shower, and Sunday the family got together for breakfast at Bob Evans. In other words- I'm sick to death of my car. We've been spending a bit too much quality time together.
I also find that I'm missing my husband. This whole working weekends from 12am-12pm thing really, really sucks. I had gotten used to having my weeknights alone, and was dealing with that, knowing I had the weekends to spend with him. Well, not so much right now, nor for the next several weeks. Sure, he's home from noon until midnight- but the man needs his sleep. Really, needs his sleep, if he doesn't get enough sleep I'm more inclined to kill him. ;)
But still, I would, on occasion, like to have people to visit with that didn't involve many preparations as one of us has to drive at least an hour to see the other. Kind of hard to have a spontaneous- let's get coffee! - when someone is an hour plus away.
It doesn't help of course that I also get all tangled up in my insecurities about online conversations (via IM and what not) that I always think I'm bothering whoever I'm messaging. This would be the same reason I never really called people in high school and into college- I was afraid that my call would be an unwelcome interruption of whatever they were doing. But of course my friends would be too polite to tell me that I was bothering them and would thus just talk to me even though they would rather be doing something else.
So yeah, welcome to the strangely shaped mind of the Jade Cat... You may want to pay attention, the paths change on their own sometimes, as does the scenery. We will at the same time reach out for human contact and withdraw in fear of it. And probably never fully make sense. But it's okay, I have feet.
I'm trying quite hard to push through my current 'no don't bother them!' phase and continue to post and comment on people's journals. Just know that if I haven't said much recently- that it's honestly not you- it's me. ;) For real! *laughs* Hell, if I can't laugh at myself who can I laugh at, right?
It's funny now that I type it all out- some of it seems like mountain size molehills, and the rest doesn't feel properly explained. But since I don't know how to fix it right now (foggy brain) I'm just going to post it and hide. 'Kay? 'Kay.
In general- NaNo is sucking all of my creative writing energy. Well, at least the part involved in the actual writing. By the way, it's going pretty well- mostly. I just haven't been posting excerpts- for those on the NaNo filter. The main story I'm happy with, but there's a girl-girl rivalry that works- it's just the way it's written isn't making me happy. Not nearly subtly snarky enough.
The other thing sucking away at my energy is, hmm, how to phrase- loneliness, really. The kind that comes with simply not having many local people around. Some of this kicked in on Monday when I went to the NaNo meet-up and then didn't see anyone I knew, so I got my coffee, wandered around the place - there was no where to sit either, so I went home.
This past weekend was honestly a lot of fun- Friday I was down in Ann Arbor to see my girls, and then Saturday was off to Grand Rapids for the Sis-in-Law's baby shower, and Sunday the family got together for breakfast at Bob Evans. In other words- I'm sick to death of my car. We've been spending a bit too much quality time together.
I also find that I'm missing my husband. This whole working weekends from 12am-12pm thing really, really sucks. I had gotten used to having my weeknights alone, and was dealing with that, knowing I had the weekends to spend with him. Well, not so much right now, nor for the next several weeks. Sure, he's home from noon until midnight- but the man needs his sleep. Really, needs his sleep, if he doesn't get enough sleep I'm more inclined to kill him. ;)
But still, I would, on occasion, like to have people to visit with that didn't involve many preparations as one of us has to drive at least an hour to see the other. Kind of hard to have a spontaneous- let's get coffee! - when someone is an hour plus away.
It doesn't help of course that I also get all tangled up in my insecurities about online conversations (via IM and what not) that I always think I'm bothering whoever I'm messaging. This would be the same reason I never really called people in high school and into college- I was afraid that my call would be an unwelcome interruption of whatever they were doing. But of course my friends would be too polite to tell me that I was bothering them and would thus just talk to me even though they would rather be doing something else.
So yeah, welcome to the strangely shaped mind of the Jade Cat... You may want to pay attention, the paths change on their own sometimes, as does the scenery. We will at the same time reach out for human contact and withdraw in fear of it. And probably never fully make sense. But it's okay, I have feet.
I'm trying quite hard to push through my current 'no don't bother them!' phase and continue to post and comment on people's journals. Just know that if I haven't said much recently- that it's honestly not you- it's me. ;) For real! *laughs* Hell, if I can't laugh at myself who can I laugh at, right?
It's funny now that I type it all out- some of it seems like mountain size molehills, and the rest doesn't feel properly explained. But since I don't know how to fix it right now (foggy brain) I'm just going to post it and hide. 'Kay? 'Kay.
On a lighter note...
Nov. 15th, 2006 04:32 pmSo I took this birth order sorta test on tickle, and here's a snippet of what it had to say about youngest children:
Youngest children usually make excellent sales people, writers and historians. This is because youngest children are best suited for careers that require social skills and creativity.
Hmm, I have a degree in history and I write... Gee..
http://web.tickle.com/tests/birthorder
Youngest children usually make excellent sales people, writers and historians. This is because youngest children are best suited for careers that require social skills and creativity.
Hmm, I have a degree in history and I write... Gee..
http://web.tickle.com/tests/birthorder